Thanks for sharing your work. You have a great quality about you, a good delivery and a natural instinct about the text!
Here are a few things to think about:
- Colors, beats and objective: The beginning of the monologue works great, but you want it to go somewhere, to build up to something by showing different colors. The best way to do that is to think about subtext (obviously, this girl has more issues with her boyfriend than what she is focusing on in the words, so look for what she's really saying, double meanings...) and your character's objective (what does she really want and what different ways does she try to get it). By going after your objective and not getting it, you'll notice your character won't stay in the same place emotionnally. Her frustration could built up, for example, to a point where she's out of control, bringing out the comedy in the piece. You shouldn't be in the same place at the end of the monologue as you are at the beginning.
- Eye and hand movement: some of the facial expressions and gestures are great, but a lot of the time, they divert the actor's energy or become more about "showing" what's going on, rather than experiencing it. Try working on your monologue being very still several times, than only do the movements that come from a true impulse.
Two and a half minutes is a little long for a monologue. You may want to cut it down to be shorter and look into other comedic monologues. I like how you really seem to be waiting for an answer when you speak. A lot of actors can't do that very well. It's a great skill to have for any monologue, dramatic or comedic.
Hope you find this helpful. Best of luck with your acting!