Comedic Monologues
for Men and Women
Actors

Looking for comedic monologues?

If you just can't find the right comedic monologue for you, look through this selection of unpublished female monologues and male monologues. These original monologues were written especially to help actors succeed. Each selection includes a description, age range and excerpt so you can decide if it is the right choice for you.

1) Female Comedic Monologues

• Hand to Mouth

  

  Age range: 20s.

  Description: An overworked waitress loses her cool with a customer and spills her guts about all the idiotic "special orders" she has to deal with to pay her way through college. This monologue should be liberating for anyone who has waited tables to pay the rent. It can be hilarious in the hands of an actress with good comedic timing.

  Length of monologue: 1:30 minutes.

  Excerpt: "...what right have you to interrupt me for some idiotic beer that you'll swallow in a second so you can torture me by asking for the next one? Or is it going to be a very very dry martini this time with a splash of cranberry, two olives face down without the little red stuff inside and half an ice cube?"

  

• Oscar Night

  

  Age range: 20s - 40s.

  Description: Gloria, a wannabe actress and diva, daydreams in her bathroom about what her acceptance speech at the Oscars would be like as she waits for the Academy Awards pre-show to start on TV. This monologue was written to work for a teenager as well as an older character actress depending on the acting choices made.

  Length of monologue: 2 minutes.

  Excerpt:" And I want to thank Roxie who sat patiently at my side during the long hours, helping me learn lines in my trailer without a full time massage therapist or even a manicurist. (she starts tearing up) I love you, Roxie! I'm sorry I declawed you..."

  

2) Male Comedic Monologues

• Glances

  

  Age range: 20s - 40s.

  Description: A man riding the NYC subway tries to charm a young woman into a first date. This monologue was written to work both ways - as a charmingly clumsy piece for a romantic comedy-type actor who gets the girl (think young Hugh Grant) or an embarrassingly funny piece for a desperate looser who says all the wrong things to women. It's all in the acting... so have fun!

  Length of monologue: 2 minutes.

  Excerpt: "Tiffany? Tiffany! How are you? What are you doing here? Oh... You're not Tiffany. I'm sorry. I... I thought you were looking at me right there. You look like a Tiffany. Never met a Tiffany who was ugly..."

  

• Alcohol is Bad for You

  

  Age range: 20s - 40s.

  Description: Tony is a guest speaker who travels to high schools to lecture on the dangers of alcohol. In this piece, personal drawbacks led him to have a few too many drinks right before one of his presentations. In this funny monologue, he drunkenly rambles on the effects of "good drinking" and "bad drinking". If you do well with physical comedy, your audience should get a good laugh out of this one.

  Length of monologue: 1:30 minutes.

  Excerpt: "All right, class, let me say right away before I forget what I came here for: "Drinking is bad for you!" Now that we cleared that up... Let me say that not all drinking is bad for you. It's like grammar, there are exceptions..."

  

Please keep it mind that some auditions require that you perform only monologues from published plays, so check before using an original monologue, especially if you are auditioning for a theatre role. That being said, original monologues have the advantage of being unique and are a great way to practice your acting skills by expanding your imagination. All the monologues below have been written by Acting School Stop and are introduced by a short description giving the basic setting for each piece. Beyond that, each actor is encouraged to make up their own details about the circumstances surrounding each monologue. It's an opportunity to make strong choices that will help you experience the lines when you act or audition. Have fun!

Need comedic monologues from movies and published plays?

Choose from these monologue selections of female monologues and male monologues.

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